dissolve your mask of loving-kindness
Deep personal work is attractive to many. Few actually engage in it. The spell of a quick fix is all-pervading, mesmerizing.
The idea of shortcuts, the "easy" and effortless, it's seductive. It's comforting, even though beneficial as much as a bowl of Oreos and milk at midnight.
As soon as we start to remotely sense the level of commitment and engagement deep personal work demands, we often instinctively back off. Because it does demand a lot. It calls for an inventory of our life, re-examination, and change of a lifestyle. Deep personal work is always a holistic challenge. Suddenly, we're faced with the truth about ourselves that is reflected through the most mundane one could imagine. Like - how we eat, sleep, move, think, feel, have sex, pray, earn money, connect.
Life is mundane. It's sacred, and it's practical and earthly.
The aim of deep personal work is one and simple: integration of our soul, mind, and body. Bottom line, in deep personal work, we are consciously strengthening our energetic container, so we're able to receive, hold, and integrate more of our soul's signature energy. Work is intricate, multilayered. To crack the code, we need to have a sincere desire, a mature level of self-responsibility, and strong will.
Ladies, we are building our primary energetic container with the awakening of our womb energy field. The womb is a multidimensional affair. It's far more than our physical uterus, and a lot about us being embodied and awakened to the wholeness of ourselves and life around us.
It's not difficult to recognize the absence of womb consciousness in women. It displays itself through numerous "signs." One of those signs is an adorable, most-wanted, and spiritually-superior mask of loving-kindness.
When we are inflated with a loving-kindness mask, we seem to be sincerely striving to be useful to others, kind, present, all-loving, all-giving. After all, loving-kindness is a spiritually approved approach that everyone seems to promote. It's about generosity, heart-centeredness, compassion. After all, it is called "love and kindness," right?
A loving-kindness mask has nothing to do with true compassion. It is a highly sophisticated energetic strategy holding many, many women imprisoned. From the inside out.
It's an energetic program unconsciously running on the collective level, silently ruining women's lives. It has nothing to do with genuine compassion, true love, deep humanness.
The difference between genuine compassion, on the one hand, and the mask of loving-kindness, on the other hand, is in the presence vs. absence of aggressive energy.
Woman, wearing a mask of loving-kindness, is at any given time unable to stand her own ground. She is being kind and loving out of fear, out of shame, out of guilt or obligation. She cannot afford to say no. She cannot take a risk and point to a crystal clear border, defining where her responsibility ends and where the other's responsibility beings.
Women with a mask of loving-kindness cannot bear the expenses of her own aggressiveness.
She is terrified of anger. She's operating out of a conviction that anger is a toxic means of destruction. She feels no familiarity with the fact that anger is simply an emotion like any others in her complex emotional landscape. She's perhaps aware that perceiving anger as damaging could be her childhood experience. However, she is utterly unaware that viewing anger as toxic is also the patriarchal regulation.
In patriarchy, compliance is required in order to be accepted. We are punished and excluded if we don't obey, and to obey, we, of course, have to ignore our anger.
Human psychology 101 says aggressive impulses are a natural, healthy force of separation from the Other. They are an energetic and psychological agent of differentiation, motion, exploration, autonomy, boundaries, self-identity. Without anger - aggressive impulses - there is no independence, no free thought, no owning our own fucking minds nor bodies.
Conveniently, women think of anger as toxic, unwanted, or harmful. Conveniently, we are afraid of our own aggressive impulses. Conveniently, we feel guilty for sensing aggression inside of ourselves. This way, we are staying silent, obedient, compliant.
And, since women are relational beings ab initio, is there any better way to massively manipulate us but with preaching us that we need to be spiritually "correct," which always includes some form of fucking loving-kindness?
Woman with a loving-kindness mask, she has definitely plenty to give. And the world is ecstatic about taking from her. There is no doubt that in this exchange, she finds a level of satisfaction, comfort, high.
But the story doesn't end here.
Do you know what happens with Woman of a Loving-Kindness Mask, in the middle of the night, when the ecstatic world is resting deeply, satiated by her full-fat milk?
She shapeshifts. In the anonymity of the night, the loving-kindness disappears.
A cascade of doubts, worries, and worst-case scenarios highjack her mind. All of a sudden, the nervous dread is present, and a pervasive feeling of lostness kicks in.
The next morning our Woman of a Loving-Kindness Mask puts her make-up on and continues along the road more traveled.
Of course, if she'd know better, she'd do better, but the fact is, she doesn't.
By daylight, only if we observe her with attention, from a certain angle, the restlessness is evident. On a particular day, possibly close to the luteal phase of the cycle, the anxiety drips through.
She then interprets this as "her moodiness." As PMS, as difficult transit in her natal chart or merely a full moon rising. She tries to help herself, meditating as fuck to open her heart even more. But no matter how much of loving-kindness she pours through her heart, that weird feeling of emptiness doesn't go away.
You know why?
It has nothing to do with her heart. It has much to do with her Womb.
The Womb is an energetic female base.
Through womb consciousness, we own an embodied connection to the Field, to the Source.
Without the womb consciousness, we have a specific feel of un-relatedness, a feel of loneliness, restlessness, and compulsive hunger for more attention, love, power, money, youth.
As I said, it all looks good on the surface. We look good. Nothing's wrong. But in the long run, this game is unsustainable. Sooner or later, the deprivation of our elemental power starts to show up through physical problems, career stuckness, existential crisis, and relationships tantrums - to name just a few.
Awakening woman, you already know who you are. You know you can dive deep inside, so you can burn layers of individual, ancestral, and collective pain that is blocking access to your elemental completeness.
This doesn't mean you know how to do it, but bone-deep, you feel it's possible. You are on the quest for more sincerity, more willingness to look into the pain, and more courage to handle the pleasure.
Womb level of consciousness is the one that makes women fully present. Not only genuinely loving-kind angels, but also empowered crazy fucking witches that know that before pleasure, there is work we need to do.
Woman, I want you to have firm boundaries. I want you to stop procrastinating, to stop undercharging, to handle your truth, cultivate the courage, and break beyond the collective trans of mediocrity. I want you to go for excellence, for a strong sense of self, and immaculate identity in the world that seems to favor characters lost in translations.
I want you to own that your knowledge is power, awareness is the way, and you can do it all - and much more, like a lady.
Are you with me?
I used to be like many of us. I used to be silent, cautious, inhibited, and I really believed that curiosity is the factor that killed the cat. I never dared to raise my voice and talk loud and proud. I always took care of other people's feelings, moods. Even fucking bank accounts.
I learned to stop with this bullshit.
And so can you.
In a nutshell
Think about the nuances of You. Which ones don't serve you anymore? Get aware, accept them, start to change the way you think and how you behave. Release what's necessary, and simply move on.
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*Tina Božič is a mama, wife, and master energy worker, trained psychotherapist, and psychologist, with +20 years of experience in self-growth and healing. She helps ambitious women #witches to finally quit hiding, so they grow a sincere pleasure of being themselves, start making bigger waves while gracefully building well-deserved success in intimacy and business. Tina deeply believes life is all about Beauty, Sovereignty, and Love. You can reach Tina via firstname.lastname@example.org or ask about options to work with her here. And, don't forget to subscribe to her notorious and very much loved Soul Letters right here! <3