I've been there, you know. In a nerve-wracking situation, where I knew deeply that I needed to change something, but the change didn't seem to happen. No matter how many books I've read, how many tears I've cried while filling my journals as crazy, that same dooming feeling persisted. Perhaps, after an honest talk with my BFF or healer, I felt better - for a day, or two.
But nothing substantial shifted.
With time and some big moves I made in my own life, I realized there is actually a recipe, a predictable trajectory of how any big shift takes place. Honestly, this comes as no surprise. I perceive our universe as a highly structured multidimensional event, and even though on the most subtle energetic level we do live in a field of endless possibilities, all these possibilities always seem to fit into a certain, predictable natural order of things, at least on this beautiful planet of ours.
Bold often looks crazy, and I certainly did a few decently crazy moves in my life.
They came unexpected, and to the people who knew me outwardly, probably unpredictable. But because of those unusual moves, this is why I am a very different person than I used to be 20, 15, 5 or even one year ago. With each serious progress I did, the transformation actually took a stage, and I shed off yet another layer of my social conditioning, be it in my personal or professional life.
(PS. Please keep in mind, shedding off the social conditioning and, completely parallel to this in terms of energy work, healing trauma, is a soul of any transformation, and another theme for another article).
How transformation kicks in
It seems to me transformation always announces itself with us feeling miserable as f#ck for longer periods of time. It can start with sleepless nights, with mysterious depressive moods, weight gain or weight loss, with obscure accidents and weird body symptoms like hair loss or anemia or hemorrhoids, stuff like that.
Our Soul always demands Life.
She wants to live, she wants to come through, and she will do fucking anything it takes to break on through to the other side. If we are too immersed in our mind, which is often the case in western society, she often starts dipping with her demands in two ways:
through the body or
she mirrors herself through a very, very complicated relationship.
When I talk about making my own shifts in life, there are certainly a few I consider as a major, and they all came in those two ways.
Like in my early 20's, I was faced with a hard decision to quit my boyfriend with a recovery-resistant drug habit. Then, after a few years of celibacy, I decided to stop pretending I don't need a committed relationship and take a risk to open for a new relationship with now my lifelong Beloved. Or, when we moved to a city where I knew fucking no-one, 10 years ago, and I just started building my private practice from a scratch, while still breastfeeding our second girl, with her sister less than age 3. And, of course, leaving all those ego-fulfilling positions, safety inducing memberships in all kinds of professional associations.
Those were all nerve-wracking situations, and they impacted my body and they showed up through painful relationship situations.
Eventually, my body issues and relationship situations didn't get better because I prayed. Or meditated. Or did lots of inner work.
Don't get me wrong; I am a big advocate of inner work, obviously:)
And all this eventually supported a shift, a change.
But! But, but.... it didn't perform the actual transformation.
Until I did it.
Transformation is a significant change in a pattern, form, or matter
Transformation is a heavily used word these days. Perhaps many advocate it like it's about the Law of Attraction practiced in our most comfy and vibrant buddha pants (which I adore, BTW), with a big, clean smile and purified breath. If you too have thought this is what you eventually need to master to shift your life in a good way - to transform, fear no more.
This is not what you need.
But you might appreciate a bit more of knowledge and awareness around the subject. Because transformation is a big shizz, and it always helps to understand its natural order of things.
Transformation is always about making a significant change in a pattern, form, or matter. In material, 3D reality, nothing significant can happen unless we move the energy on the same material plane. Of course, we can move energy on any level of our being, be it on a soul level, mental or emotional level - and we do. However, as physical beings, for change and transformation to occur, we need to move the physical material level.
In humans, transformation is not about feeling "a bit better" or thinking "a bit more positive", while, for example, surrendering to the unbearable. On the contrary. Transformation is always about palpable, visible shifts in our reality; we only recognize transformation by its impact.
Say, when we meet in five years, and we talk about our lives, and I'm able to clearly see how different you are and sense the actual changes you did, and you will see this with me? Perhaps:
a new job,
different level of creativity or
much more satisfying income,
a different environment,
your health mirroring itself through the peace of mind and tranquility that shows on your posture?
Yes, in this imaginative case, we are both five years older, but we have this radiating look. After all, we earned it. We both know, something significant happened to both of us. And for all this to happen, it is clear we each did some serious action: we transmuted patterns, form, and matter of our lives, in tangible ways, through concrete action.
Point is, if I'd watch your life as an observer of a movie, I would see changes without you needing to explain them to me. I would recognize them. Because you would for sure move, physically. In five years, you wouldn't be sitting on the same chair like now, in the same space, talking later with the same people, the same words, doing some stuff, going through the same routines.
So, if there is one thing to remember is this:
Action is body and flesh of any transformation.
And there are predictable steps you too can take to envision your Brave New World and build a life you deeply long for and deserve. You need to take yourself through spiritual, mental, emotional and physical layers, and transformation will happen. It cannot be anything different; remember, we are talking about the natural order of things.
So here it is six (6) step transformational chicken soup recipe (if vegan, use only veggies):
Envision the brave new world: "Dream a dream, and what you see will be."
Form a crystal clear intention that reflects this brave new world.
Meditate, pray, journey on this intention.
Dismantle any and all inner objections, through time and space and all dimensions, and, if necessary, release energetic blocks to this very intention.
Then: move, write, speak, stroke, announce, touch, take in, push away, wait, initiate, sustain trails and errors... in alignment with your intention.
Repeat as often as needed.
What you need to take care of is that as you immerse yourself fully in this process, you are at the same time staying unattached to the outcome as much as possible. This is very very very very difficult for most of us humans. A crucial skill in this step is, we need to find a way all over again to trust we are not alone in this Universe.
Basically, while you do all the necessary steps and tangible action, you are at the same time leaning in into being guided by a force bigger than your individual presence.
If you have issues with this level of trust, you will have problems going through any transformation. In this case, consider choosing a new frame of reference that incorporates a healthy spiritual perspective in which you can stay aware that you are spiritually supported and completely loved on your Soul's path.
While doing all this and if needed, do correct the course and re-form your intention, re-align the action, especially if you sense lots of obstacles morphing on the outside. Humans, we have this issue with ego and Soul conflict, and often we set intentions on an ego level instead of the Soul level. And yes, to distinguish those two, it takes knowledge and experience.
Do the work.
Action, as body and flesh of any transformation, it sometimes feels extremely joyful.
But most of the time, the action we do in the name of transformation, heading outside of our comfort zones, it plainly sucks. For anyone of us, it's simply challenging to move energy in 3D reality, due to universal resistance to change present in any organic or inorganic system.
Deep down we may know we are doing the right thing, but still, it's not particularly funny.
I guess this challenging plethora of uncomfortableness accompanying the transformation is also the main reason many people are not even seeking transformation, their own brave new world.
But truth also is, this discomfort, it is also not a significant block for many of us.
Either way, it's our life, and we can do whatever we choose.
Needless to say, I love to see people who actually do the necessary hard work and change their soul-sucking life situations. I just love them and admire them. I respect all the clumsy ways in which they face the dragon, and my soul sings when I see they eventually get the nature of this process, so ultimately - they succeed.
There is no other way, but to do the work.
In our lives, we need to get to the point where life simply feels right.
Don't stop before you get there.
The right life for you, it exists.
It's all about your dedication and commitment to get there.
Persistence always pays off.
In a Nutshell
Rome wasn't built in a day, and to transform means to actually shape-shift current patterns of reality to the form on a different vibrational level. For this, we need to work through action; it doesn't happen only through prayer, meditation, resolving inner conflicts. Even the most magnificent intention won't help us unless we are willing to do the work and what simply needs to be done.
** Tina Bozic is a straight-edge lady in her 40's; a psychotherapist, psychologist, and energy worker. With her husband, their daughters and Bowie the cat she is currently living in Slovenia, serving clients worldwide. She's helping women to get radically empowered, radically loved. You too can subscribe to her e-newsletters by clicking right here.