I'm running out of fear
Yesterday, I had a conversation with a woman.
We met for the first time. A direct kind of lady; I assume many don't like her for it. Unexpectedly, I felt quite comfortable with her. After a while, she said to me:
"I would never say you are a therapist. I can't imagine you sitting still and listen to people for hours. You have so much action-oriented energy for sitting still. Your energy is here to move people, physically. I can imagine you doing business, consulting, something with goals, future, expansion, moving..."
I went, well... hm...
Our lives are moving in cycles. They move in seasons. I had one big season for some years now, and I shifted the direction of my intimacy and my work. My life changed significantly since then.
And when I say significantly, I mean significantly.
I think differently then I used to. I engage with people differently, I mother differently, I go into the conflicts differently, I make love differently, I create differently, I earn money differently, I say no and then yes - differently. I even eat fucking breakfast regularly plus warm food daily - which, you guessed it, it's completely different than it used to be #CornflakeGirl
The basic magic of all this season experience it has been about coming deeper and deeper into the bare naked and raw truth of who I am - and finally, breathe it and start living by my inner authority.
Regarding personal inner work - which I assume is your point of interest too?
Truth is, "traditional" psychotherapy (mentioned before), didn't help me get into my pure, raw essence. I was guided to traverse far beyond corridors of "established" psychotherapy to get where I am - and I am fine.
"You are content with yourself as you are, aren't you?" the woman continued. "You trust yourself. You know how to make decisions and you feel confident about who you are..."
I listened, I didn't object.
There was nothing to object to.
But I was thinking about how I could object everything about what she said - years ago.
I was thinking, how fucking grateful I am today, that I'm out of that paradigm of fear, that I'm out of that kingdom of darkness, worries, frustration, and bitterness, that always includes an endless search for a savior that will come in a shape of a guru, master, lover, approval, awards, memberships, church, science, one little pill or a pile of magic dust.
I have my inner authority.
Which doesn't mean I don't have my moods. I move with Moon and the planets and nature, and I move with all the energy around me. But this doesn't mean, I buy into them. I know that on the cellular level, I'm energetically, organically, out of that paradigm of fear. I can plunge into a negative mood for a limited time, yes. But already when in, I know, it's not real. Because fear is not real. It is an illusion. And it is the biggest illusion there is.
The most important lesson I learned in this season of my life?
Do not ever make decisions out of fear.
Because before, I was used to making all my decisions out of fear.
Which is completely normal. I mean, I'm an adult woman with my own family, and my own mother (god bless her and give her strenght) is still worried if I take a fucking ride with my silver bike at 10 pm and it's dark out there.
Do you know I live in a kind of the most boring little town in the world where nothing intriguing ever happens?
Do you know what I mean?
Like you, I've been too born through the lineages of fear.
Fear... fear of lack, fear of loss, fear of betrayal, fear of pain, fear of death... fear of fucking everything!
I mean, are you aware of how our upbringing - social conditioning, can and do take us far from the Essence of who we are? How we absorb energetic patterns that are
a) not even ours,
b) not even beneficial to us?
This stuff is so big. And so serious. And so underestimated. Do you know people suicide themselves because they are not able to liberate their Souls from that agony of fear, as they get absorbed into the doom and restrictions of the morbid paradigm of fear?
And, how many people are walking this Earth and wondering who the fuck they are?
How many people sense there must be something more about this life than constant states of worries, anger, frustration, and bitterness?
I think we should only make choices out of love, trust, compassion, power, wisdom.
And leave everything else aside.
And this is what I learned in this season. So my work now is really all about empowering you to close doors to your past, step out of the trance of collective fearfulness, and create consciously the miracle of your future.
Our life is all about how we use our consciousness.
Our consciousness is the supreme spiritual tool we all have.
And we can learn how to use it in the correct way, according to who we are and how we are designed.
** Tina Bozic is a straight-edge lady in her 40's - a psychotherapist, psychologist, and energy worker. With her husband, their daughters and Bowie the cat she is living in Slovenia, serving clients worldwide. She's helping women to get radically empowered, radically loved. You too can subscribe to her e-newsletters by clicking right here.