Dissolve your mask of loving-kindness
Deep personal work might sound attractive. A minority of us actually engage in it. The spell of a quick fix is all-pervading, mesmerizing. The idea of shortcuts, the promise of the "easy" and effortless and "quantum", it's seductive. It markets well, because to the ego it's comforting, even though beneficial as much as a bottle of whiskey at midnight.
As soon as we start to remotely sense the level of commitment and engagement deep personal work demands, we often instinctively back off. Because it does require a lot. It calls for an inventory of our life, re-examination, even change of lifestyle because an action is what makes our lives different. Deep personal work is a holistic challenge; it engages body, mind, and Soul. Life presents us with a problem, a significant loss or shock—a hard-core conflict with an elderly mum, kid self-harming, husband cheating, or we cheating him. Unexpectedly, we're faced with the Truth about ourselves reflected in people around us.
The aim of deep personal work is simple, integration of our Soul, mind, and body. In deep inner work we are exploring our inner lands, consciously strengthening our energetic container so we're able to receive, hold, and integrate more and more of our Soul's signature energy. This work is intricate, multilayered. We need to have a sincere desire to crack the code, a mature level of self-responsibility, and strong will.
Womb consciousness at glance
Women, we are building our energetic container with the awakening of our womb consciousness field. In the western world, we basically all the time talk about mind and mindset, then about heart and heart field and how it impacts connection with other people. We also hear about the belly, the etheric nervous system, a "second brain". However the womb? As a consciousness system on its own? Where are the proofs? Are there any?
The womb is a multidimensional affair. It's far more than our physical uterus and a lot about us being embodied and awakened to the wholeness of ourselves and life around us. As far as I know, we have absolutely no proofs for its existence but gnostical ones. Ask any woman that experienced conscious connecting with her Womb. what this kind of connection brings into her precious life.
It's not difficult to recognize the absence of womb consciousness in women. It displays itself through numerous "signs."
Just one of those signs is a presence of adorable, most-wanted, spiritually superior mask of loving-kindness.
What's wrong with the loving-kindness mask
When we are inflated with a loving-kindness mask, it looks like we're striving massively to help others. We are present, all-loving, all-giving. See, loving-kindness is a spiritually approved approach that everyone seems to promote. It's about generosity, heart-centeredness, compassion, in times of pandemic, even solidarity. It is called "love and kindness," right?
A loving-kindness mask has nothing to do with genuine compassion. It is a highly sophisticated, energetic strategy, holding many women imprisoned from the inside out. It's a sophisticated internal lockdown; women need no repression from the outside; they have it inside.
A loving-kindness mask is energetic program unconsciously running on the collective level, silently ruining women's lives. It has nothing to do with genuine compassion, true love, deep humanness.
The difference between genuine compassion, on the one hand, and the mask of loving-kindness, on the other hand, is in the presence vs. absence of aggressive energy.
A woman wearing a mask of loving-kindness is unable to stand her own ground. She is kind and loving:
out of fear,
out of shame,
out of guilt or
She cannot afford to say no. She cannot take a risk and point a crystal clear border, defining where her responsibility ends and where the other's responsibility beings.
Woman with a mask of loving-kindness cannot bear the expenses of their own aggressiveness.
She is terrified of anger. She's operating out of a conviction that anger is a toxic means of destruction. She's perhaps aware that perceiving anger as damaging could be an echo of her childhood experience. However, she is utterly unaware that her viewing anger as toxic is the introjected patriarchal self-regulation.
In patriarchy, compliance is required to be accepted. We are punished and excluded if we don't obey. And to obey, we, of course, have to ignore our emotions, anger being one of them.
Human psychology 101 states, aggressive impulses are a natural, healthy force of separation from the Other. They are an energetic and psychological agent of differentiation, motion, exploration, autonomy, boundaries, self-identity, individuality.
Without aggressive impulses – there is no independence, no free thought, no owning our own minds nor bodies.
Conveniently, the woman thinks of anger as toxic, unwanted, or harmful. Conveniently, a woman is afraid of her own aggressive impulses. Conveniently, a woman feels guilty for sensing aggression inside of herself. And she is staying silent, obedient, compliant.
Women seem to be relational beings ab initio. Nancy Chodorow in her The Reproduction of Mothering developed an understanding of female development and revealed that a girl's gender development is related to her closeness with her mother and her relational positioning. Some psychological specifics make women more relationships prone in comparison with men. And regarding women's psychological nature - and vulnerability, is there any better way to massively influence women but by preaching that we need to be caring, loving, and kind?
I'm sure, a woman with a loving-kindness mask, she definitely has plenty to give. And the world is ecstatic about taking from her. There is no doubt that she finds a level of satisfaction, comfort, even high in this exchange!
But the story doesn't end here.
Do you know what happens with Woman of a Loving-Kindness Mask in the middle of the night, when the ecstatic world is resting deeply, satiated by her full-fat milk?
She shapeshifts. In the anonymity of the night, the loving-kindness disappears. A cascade of doubts, worries, and worst-case scenarios highjack her mind. Suddenly, the nervous dread is present, and a pervasive feeling of lostness kicks in. The following day our Woman of a Loving-Kindness Mask puts her make-up on and continues along the road more traveled.
Of course, if she'd know better, she'd do better, but she doesn't. Not yet. Perhaps if we observe her with attention by daylight from a certain angle, the restlessness is evident.
On a particular day, possibly close to the cycle's luteal phase, the anxiety drips through.
She then interprets this as "her moodiness," PMS, as difficult transit in her natal chart or a full moon rising. She tries to help herself, meditating as fuck to open her heart even more even though her brain is half-dead. But no matter how much loving-kindness she pours through her heart, that weird feeling of emptiness doesn't go away.
You know why?
That specific female emptiness that no psychological test or scientific research can prove has nothing to do with her heart.
It has to do with her Womb.
Womb as an energetic female base
The Womb is an energetic female foundation. I like to call it a little female nuclear power station. Through womb consciousness, women get n an embodied connection to the Field, to the Source, to their Soul.
Without the womb consciousness activated, we have a specific feel of un-relatedness, a feel of loneliness, restlessness, and compulsive wanting, an unnecessary hunger for more:
It all looks good on the surface. We look good. Nothing's wrong. But in the long run, this game is unsustainable. Sooner or later, the deprivation of our elemental power starts to show up through physical problems, career stuckness, existential crisis, and relationship tantrums – to name just a few.
Awakening women, ready for deep inner work, know they can dive deep inside, so they can burn layers of individual, ancestral, and collective Pain that are blocking access to their elemental completeness. They perhaps have no clue how to do it, get into the completeness, but bone-deep, but they feel it's possible. They are on the quest for more sincerity, more willingness to look much deeper inside of their beautiful inner world.
Womb's level of consciousness consciously activated is the one that makes any women fully present.
Are you with me?
Woman, I want you to have firm boundaries. I want you to stop procrastinating, to stop undercharging, to handle your Truth, cultivate courage, and break beyond the collective trans of mediocrity. I want you to go for excellence, for a strong sense of self and immaculate identity in the world that seems to favor characters lost in translations.
I want you to own that your knowledge is your power, awareness is the way, and you can do it all – and much more, like a lady.
Are you with me?
I used to be like many of us. I used to be silent, cautious, inhibited, and I really believed that curiosity is the factor that killed the cat. I never dared to raise my voice and talk loud and proud. I always took care of other people's feelings, moods. Even fucking bank accounts.
I learned to stop with this bullshit. And one of the significant steps was that I dissolved my mask of loving-kindness and learned to get super comfortable with my own darkness.
And so can you.
All my love,
Tina Bozic is a psychologist and psychotherapist in private practice (est. 2009). She is practicing holistic energy-based psychotherapy for women willing to relentlessly follow their Souls. She helps women use the body’s innate wisdom and develop radical self-love so they can call on their Souls to guide them.